Director: Tobe Hooper
Reviewed by: Doc Zombie
From the creator of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Mortuary is a zombie...scratch that...slasher....scratch that....wait, what is this movie?
Jonathan, his younger sister and his mother move to a new town and into an old mortuary where his mother intends to renovate and start a new business. Out in the front yard there's a grave yard. The house is in shambles and overall a creepy place. All in all a nice set up for a typical horror film.
Soon Jonathan learns from residents of the town that the house has a terrible history. The land is supposedly cursed. Nothing grows there or lives there. Cattle that once roamed the land would suddenly die and disappear. The family that owned the land for generations soon ended in a bloody demise. The last of the Fowlers apparently abused and kept their deformed child of 8 in one of the tombs. 10 years later the parents of this child was found with their heads "bashed in". The child has been missing ever since. So now we have a nice set up for a psychopathic murderer i.e. Jason Vorhees, Leatherface.
What comes next is a mix between the parasitic zombies of, say, the awesome zom flick Slither and that of a Friday the 13th movie. The zombies look decent and the FX are passable.
Tons of inconsistencies and just plain bad writing destroys what probably couldn't have been saved in the first place. The last 20 minutes of the film erases everything that made some sort of sense that came before it. Also, Tobe Hooper should've went out on a limb and focused on the zombies and left the psychopath out of it all together. I'm mean, geez, might as well throw in a vampire and Bigfoot. This is a waste of time...and, ultimately, I've gotta give Mortuary one blood drop.
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